REVOLT: “Rebel. Rise up. Riot.”
I have an old quilt in my closet. It’s tucked under a few tote bags in a corner. When I realize there is no other safe place in my house to escape the questions, the groceries, the tasks, the emails, the nonstop NONSTOP to-dos… I go into my closet. I turn off the light. I unfold my quilt. And I lay down and close my eyes. (Well, I guess I’ve just given my secret spot away, but I don’t think my husband or kids read this). It’s hard to love many things so, so, so much… and yet also internally rage about what it’s doing to us to carry all of them at the exact same time as well…
Let me backtrack a little. And before I do that, let me say: if you’ve ever wanted to feel truly known, seen, heard… I hope this post does just that for you. Because you deserve it. We all do. Here’s why.
For many women my age-ish (I’m 40), we grew up in a post (some) women’s rights age. Our mothers and many of our grandmothers were able to vote. Many worked outside the home. We were told, “you can be ANYthing you want!” And how beautiful that is. What a privilege to have been encouraged in such a way as a little girl. Many little boys were also encouraged this way. “YOU can be anything you want” too! With so many opportunities unfolding in front of us, we ALL set out to do BIG things with our lives!
I dreamed of being a ballerina. A children’s book writer. A teacher. A doctor. And… A MOTHER. I dreaaaamed of becoming a mother. I just knew that by day I would be an astronaut, or President, or a marine biologist and at the exact same time, I would be a loving, present, fantastic mother.
It wasn’t until I entered my junior year of college that I realized selecting a major meant two things: deciding the professional course of my life AND deciding the personal course of my life… that is, how my life would work (schedule and priority wise) if I was to be a professional AND a mother. I didn’t know a lot of women with careers like I dreamed of who were doing *both.*
Now don’t come at me for saying this (and I will say this, because I think you will understand what I mean…)