How I'm making my election decisions
A gentle, wholehearted look at placing personal values (not parties) on the pedestal breeds clarity and healthy discussion.
I’ve been sitting on this post for a while now . . . but I think it’s time we talked about it. And before we dive in, I want you to know I’m glad you’re here. Even if we place different values on our respective pedestals. I believe, wholeheartedly, there is space for many perspectives and that respectful, nuanced conversations from all angles are a good thing.
It’s that time again. Almost time to head to the ballot box. When it comes to voting, I've been thinking about how important it is to put my values on the pedestal, not people or parties, and then vote accordingly.
This idea came to me when I was explaining my voting decisions for local, state, and national elections to someone close to me. These are nerve-wracking conversations, for sure. But now they’re a little easier for me than they used to be.
I’ll be honest: staying engaged in what’s going on outside the walls of my home is not easy. I’m tending to so much every single day. When my kids walk out the door to school, I’m making sure they have backpacks and homework and lunches, and when they walk back through that door, I’m slowing down to listen to their stories and questions. I’m trying to be an attentive boss and business owner for the people who work with me, whether that’s members of Team Simplified or the people we partner with. I’m carving out time to cultivate strong relationships with the friends I care for, the parents I treasure, the husband I love.
The thing is, my love and care for these people is directly affected by what goes on in our city council meetings. It’s directly affected by what goes on in the state house. And it’s also affected by what goes on in the Senate, the House, the Supreme Court—and, yes, the White House.
Because politics is people.
Someone once DM’d me on Instagram and told me I should “stick to planners not politics.” But… politics is… everything. It is planners. It’s products (and how they’re made and priced). It’s people (and how they’re taxed and paid). It’s freedoms given and taken away. It’s community, and safety, and family, and opportunity. Politics is how we the people come to a consensus about how just about everything in our society runs, about how we ensure that people grow and flourish in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness—or not.
And when we see the ones we love are denied the freedom to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Well…
That fills us with all kinds of feelings.
Frustration. Rage. Cynicism. We throw up our hands, wondering why the clock has turned backward and decency has been thrown out the window when our parents and grandparents worked so hard for us to have more freedoms than they did, not less.
So, while you won’t find me giving political commentary daily on the internet, I do think this topic (about how we stand up for our values [READ: VOTE] and how we have healthy, respectful conversations about such things) is wildly important.
The tragedy of gun violence. The repeal of reproductive freedoms. The economy we’ve created where the gains have become so skewed, where the top gets nearly everything that back-breaking labor has produced for them (and btw, this is not the way it was when our grandparents were raising their children).
Sometimes it can feel like after all the hard work and sacrifice we and our loved ones have put in to make the world better and this is what we get? Anything else we do is futile.
If you are feeling this way, trust me, I understand.
But, when you feel powerless, like nothing you do could ever make a difference, hear me when I say this: none of the problems we’re dealing with today is inevitable or irreversible.
Because the good news is: it doesn’t have to be this way.
We can vote our way into a new way of being.
I love this country. In one hand, I hold awe for what so many have sacrificed to make it what it is today. In the other hand, I also hold tremendous respect for the way we strive to become a more perfect union. A union that stretches its arms wider and wider for freedom and flourishing. For insisting on fresh voices and ideas to make that vision a reality. To help our country live up to its promise, to ensure that promise is extended to every single American.
Here’s the thing: the more perfect union we’re looking for may be a long time coming. Because these problems didn’t just happen overnight, and they may never go completely away. But we can choose to tackle the problems in front of us differently. We can choose to keep striving for that more perfect union.
And I think we can do that by voting our values—not voting for people, not voting for the cult of personality. Our union grows more perfect when we vote for the policies that align with the kind of city, state, and country we want to live in.
If you’re wondering about how to use your tremendous power as a citizen to vote, I want you to do something for me.
I want you to think about your top three values.
Okay, stay with me. This isn’t some cheesy self-help exercise, I promise. I think this is really important not only for knowing who you want to vote for, but even simply who you are.
And if you can’t think of three values, it’s okay, because I can’t even decide what I want for dinner, let alone the three characteristics that are the cornerstones of my being. I mean, it’s Thursday. Jesus, take the wheel. But here’s a list of 50 values that I like. Look at those and see if you like any of them too, if they speak to the kind of person you are, the kind of person you want to be.
Then, I want you to do your research on each person in your city, state, and national races. I want you to look at the policies on their websites and socials. I want you to think about the visions for your city, state, or country that they’re laying before you. Then think about which visions line up with your values.
Which policies will help your own vision for your life and family flourish? Which policies will do that for you—and also not harm anyone else’s ability to choose flourishing for themselves and their family?
You may think you know the answers to those questions already. But just try this. It might just surprise you.
Now, does any one vision for the place I live, any one candidate embody every single value I hold dear? Oh, not at all. That is literally impossible. The work of my adult life has been realizing that many things can be true at once, because people are complicated and filled not with black and white, but with shades of gray. (Transparently, I don’t find myself wholly aligned with any side of our two party / binary system).
But this is why I vote with my values: because values are like guiding lights, like fireflies or lamps on a dark night.
When I see a cluster of my values shining on a bundle of policies or a vision for our city, state, or country, I follow the path toward those values. My decision at the ballot box becomes so simple.
It’s taken me years to get to this place, of realizing this is how I want to use my voting power. For many years, (and I feel funny saying this, but maybe you can relate), I voted the way my dad told me to vote. Because he was my guiding light. As I got older and developed my own inner guide (as one does), I learned to listen to the voice inside me. In a way, I feel like I’m still doing the work to listen to her, to hone in on the values that are most important to me.
I’ll tell you what, all of this has made me know myself better. I know who I am and what I stand for. My backbone is strong. I’m finding it much easier to stay in conversation with people about what’s going on in the world. I’ve also found it easier to not devolve into saying to my kids or even myself, “We vote this way because we’re democrats, or because we’re republicans.” Nope.
We think about our values and honor them.
We educate ourselves on the issues and the policies to address them.
We align that understanding with our values.
And then we vote accordingly.
Oh, and if you’re curious, here’s what I’m personally looking for at the ballot box this year:
Policies that build people up, not tear them down
A responsible steward of power, a champion of “We the People”
Common sense laws around gun violence
Freedom to decide how I and other women want to build a family
Someone who supports the flourishing of every single person through strong schools, infrastructure, and physical and mental healthcare
Someone who’s looking to be a leader for everyone, regardless if they won that person’s vote
A leader with integrity, decency, and respect for everyone
From now until November, I have no idea how many more twists and turns are in store for us. But I do know this: I’m voting my values. And I’m voting to preserve the dignity, the humanity, and the freedom of every single person in this country. I can’t wait to show up and vote.
PS: If you’re a parent or have kids you love in your life, I bet you’ve been wondering, “Um, how do I talk to the kids about all of this?” Great question. I’ve got something for you next week, so stay tuned!
One more thing: thinking about the kind of leaders I hope for, I cannot get these two posts out of my mind.
➡ Remember when we could disagree without denigrating character?
➡ And speaking of values, this is a beautiful summary of what really matters in this life. It’s not what we gain: it’s people. Full stop.
I think it’s super important for people to be able to have those conversations gently and with grace. Like you said often times we are concerned about similar or same things but how we feel those problems should be solved are different. It doesn’t mean that those thoughts aren’t thoroughly worked through just because there is disagreement. I hope that everyone that reads this post can try to see others through that light. If you vote for Trump, that doesn’t mean you’re a monster. If you vote for Kamala it doesn’t mean you’re a monster. Unless you’re of course actually a monster however that is not dependent on your vote. If you claim that love for humanity is leading your vote then your treatment of someone that disagrees with you should reflect what you claim to cherish. I hope more people lead with grace as it seems to be written here in this post. Thank you Emily.
Great post Emily! There is so much that goes into the choices we make at the ballot box. I know that for me, it happens to distill down to personal freedom. Who wants me to have it and who wants to take it away from people? I never want to someone else to choose for me so in turn I want others to choose for themselves. There are other things as well but my ability to be fully in control of my own person is extremely important to me. (Insofar as it doesn’t impede someone else from being in control of their own person).