Confessions of a... Questionable Cook
That time I made blueberry muffins with olive oil, and other kitchen nightmares
The holidays are the Super Bowl for people who like to cook. Fancy sauces. Exotic sides. Cookie swaps and foodie gifts and showstopper holiday meals. It’s the best time of the year for the cooks. And to that I say:
But what if . . . you don’t love to cook? Like me???
There are a frillion reasons why you and cooking don’t mix. Maybe you’re afraid of messing up. Maybe big meals aren’t your thing and wish you could have cereal three nights a week. Maybe chopping piles of veggies and stirring your life away at the stove makes you want to melt. For me, it’s all of the above.
Do you know how frustrating it is to be on top of my stuff in so many ways, but never in the kitchen? I’ve made peace with this — that sometimes I’m just going to do dumb stuff in the kitchen. Case in point: I break oven-safe casserole dishes. While they’re cooking. In the oven. Which is what they’re designed to do.
To be fair, I’ve gotten much better in the kitchen. After many years of adulthood, I’ve found I can fantastically make simple recipes with few ingredients. That’s all you need, really. And it’s why I wrote the cookbook I always wished I had — the cookbook for the rest of us.
For the ones who keep Pillsbury Take-n-Bakes in business. For the ones who set off the fire alarm at least once a year. For the ones who go to HoneyBaked Ham to buy sides for the holiday party, decant the food into beautiful bowls, and pray no one asks us for the recipe so we won’t have to lie at a sacred celebration.
This is me.
If this is you, welcome to the Sisterhood of the Trying-But-Has-A-High-Probability-Of-Messing-Up Cooks.
These are the kitchen fails I’ve never shared publicly before. How could one millennial cook with access to the internet screw up this badly?
You’re about to find out.
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